in language and culture the commonality of learning a second language has create a common thread of safety for these students and for that very reason they also cling to one another. No one will quite understand if they haven’t experience it for themselves the layers of identity an ELL student have to develop to survive school. For example I had worked with two first year fifth grade ELL students, Sasha and Issa. These students were new to the school and new to the country, but for almost the entire school year they moved invisibly through their classes so much so that their classroom teacher once mentioned to me that she often forget that they were there because they were incredible shy and quite. But little did she know that in the ESL classroom these very “shy and quiet” girls were the chattiest bunch and were essentially class clowns. In the ESL classroom there they found a sense of safety and many ELL students feel that they can be themselves.  Reminiscing back to my own experience, I remember just like them, I too felt more comfortable within the walls of multilingual medley of the ESL classroom versus the big mainstream classroom. I remember when I was new to school and didn’t speak a word of English and how it felt to walk those threatening hallways to get to my new class, and to see the new faces I’ve never seen before blankly staring back at me and I remember feeling great amount of anxiety. And just like Sasha and Issa I too remember developing an identity that allowed me to avoid embarrassment by not speaking aloud and risking verbal mistakes, an identity that allowed me to remain under the radar of any unnecessary attention and quite frankly an identity I couldn’t wait to retire once I got to the ESL classroom or once I got to the comfort of my own home.

 

Again, if one haven’t had the experience, one will not quite know how it feels to be shun out as an ELL student. For example like my Maurice, a first year third grader who first tried learning English through TV and cartoons before entering my ESL classroom. Maurice was just an all-around sweet and sociable kid that desperately wanted to make friends with English Speakers, but his attempt was usually met with ridicule and bullying. In my own past experience just like Maurice I remember watching from afar as the other kids run, play, communicate, and shared secrets just as little girls in the elementary school playground usually do and I remember just watching and wanting so very bad to do the same. 

 

Furthermore, one will never understand until experiencing it for themselves the amount of resentment some ELL students feel for having been taking away from all they’ve known and brought to an environment of unknown certainty and new culture.  A person who have not experience being an ELL student will have a difficult time understanding the amount of effort it takes for some to read and pronounce in English sounds, or the eagerness one feels when they know a particular subject and want to share their knowledge, but can’t because they don’t quite know how in their new language, or maybe the anxiety and powerlessness an Ell student feels for being in a new space. This is just a snippet of the reality of many ELL students in schools and just like them not too long ago this too was my reality. One can easily empathize with this population of students, however having walked in their shoes have given me a different set of lens. And it is because of this first person perspective and the universal feeling of being an ELL that I choose to tireless advocate and uplift each one of my ELL students and pass on practical skills to them because essentially I see myself in each one of them.

 

(Note: Students’ names have been changed.)